You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
