OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
