Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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