I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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