just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I need a beard to bite.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
