Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
