This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Randomize
