okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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