Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
