having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
