South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
