Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize