can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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