I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The feeling are messing with the penis
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
