we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
