I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
