The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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