so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
