We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
