Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
