I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
