how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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