I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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