There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
