Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
