So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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