Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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