i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
