My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
