$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
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