would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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