She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
