i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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