if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
