Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
