She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
