She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
