He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
