their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
