we're blogging at a bar
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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