he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize