so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
