At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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