**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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