Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
