Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
