Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
