she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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