I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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