You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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