one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
