im having a threesome with these popsicles
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
