i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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