so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
