I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
