Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
