FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
